


All That I Need

by Ursula



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Drama, Fiction, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-01-10
Updated: 2005-01-10
Packaged: 2018-11-21 03:10:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11348628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ursula/pseuds/Ursula
Summary: As Mulder and Krycek struggle to rebuild human life in a safe enclave, they find someone missing from their lives, Walter Skinner.





	All That I Need

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

All That I Need

### All That I Need

#### by Ursula

  


Title: All That I Need 

Author: Ursula 

Pairing: Mulder/Skinner/Krycek 

Rating: NC-17 

Status: Finished 

Date Posted: Original 6-22-03 Revised 01-09-95 

Archive: FHSA, DIB, FONXL 

Classification: Slash Romance 

Series/Sequel: Is this story part of a series: No 

Disclaimers: X-Files belongs to Fox, 1013, and whoever currently hold the rights. This is a work of fan fiction, not for profit. 

Notes: The idea of Krycek sending Mulder out to look for a lost dog came from Eileen. Tea apparently sent David out in the middle of the night to look for stray dogs, needing rescue. 

Warnings: Schmoop, ah schmoop alert. I like kids and dogs. Expect them in my stories. 

Time Frame: Alternative after the series 

Web Site: 

I heard the roar of Alex's Indian from a distance. As I went to the window, my hand automatically found one of the high-powered rifles. It had been a long time since a nymph had been seen near Sanctuary, but human marauders could kill you just as dead. 

I should have pretended to go on with what I was doing, play it cool, but I missed him. God how I miss him when he is gone. We go on missions together most of the time, but, there were still times when he wanted some room or I did. 

Alex's face grinned at me from the security cam. I stuck my tongue out at him as I keyed in the sequence to let my lover in the door. 

I walked outside to greet him. He smelled of road dust and leather, a dangerous man. Wait a minute, Alex also smelled of sour milk and worse. A thin wail came from the side bag. Alex looked around and said, "Where's Dana?" 

"Mamie Hubert is delivering early," I said. "John brought Scully over to see to her." 

"Hope this one makes it," Alex said. 

"Yeah, there's that," I agreed. Mamie Hubert has had three pregnancies. Her first two miscarried. The third one lived a few weeks. I was never sure if the hybrid monstrosity died on its own or if she helped it out of this world. No one would ask. It was a difficult choice that any parent might have to face. The aliens were no longer out there. They were us. 

"Damn," Alex said, "I was hoping Dana would take care of this kid. I found him out by a Purist commune. Stupid people. He's not a hybrid. He has a cleft palate. Scully can fix it in a few months." 

The child was only a day or two old. It let out a piercing wail and flailed at the air. "I haven't slept for two days," Alex groaned and added, "I should have just left him." 

The thing was Alex would have done it if saving this mite of a child had interfered with his mission. Alex is a single-minded son of a bitch. There was a time that I might have hit him for saying what he had. Now, I merely said, "I'm glad you could save him. Although I have a feeling we won't have much of a love life until Scully finds a home for this kid." 

Grimacing, Alex said, "Kid is poopy again. Hey, Mulder..." 

"Mulder doesn't do that," I said. "You're on your own." 

"Damn," Alex said. "You going to leave this innocent kid in the hands of true evil?" 

Looking him over, I said, "Yes, I think so." 

Swatting his ass and making the road dust fly out of the denim of his jeans, I said, "But if you get the baby changed up, I'll feed him while you clean up." 

Maybe we could put the baby out in the hall long enough to make love. Damn, I was happy that Alex was able to save the kid, but I wished Scully had been home to moon over the waif. I had been looking forward to making love to Alex until neither of us could move. That wasn't going to happen until Junior had been foisted off on some lucky family. 

As soon as Alex removed the soiled diaper, the kid blasted him with a surprisingly full stream of pee. I couldn't help from laughing as Alex flailed about trying to deflect the sudden attack. 

"Why, Alex, I didn't know you were into that kinky stuff," I teased. 

"Shut the fuck up," Alex growled. He sullenly finished his task and shoved the clean baby at me. "I'll show you how to feed him after I finish my shower. Rock him or something." 

"I know how to feed a baby," I said. 

"Not this one," Alex replied, with a weary sigh punctuating his words. "He could choke." 

The baby wasn't as deformed as some of the hybrids walking around the sanctuary. I was so used to children with differences that I barely noticed the dip in the infant's mouth. I just forgot for a moment that the defect meant that there was a hole where one didn't belong. 

Rocking the crying baby, I tried to sing to him, but the baby had normal hearing. My singing made him cry harder. I hoped he would settle down after he ate. Otherwise it was going to be a long night. 

OooOooO 

The baby had finally gone to sleep. I knew Alex was tired, but he turned to me s I got into bed and put his arms around me. "I could make love if you do all the work," he said. 

"You could make love or you want to?" I said. 

"I want to," Alex said. "I've been thinking about you." 

Close as he could come most days to saying 'I love you." 

Close enough for me most days. 

Kissing Alex is something to savor. You would think that sweet innocent mouth would be prim; not so. He kisses like an angel, like a demon. I can lose myself for hours in his kiss. 

And his eyes. I missed a lot in those years when he would not meet my eyes. 

Drawing back for a moment, I stared down at him, his lips red from my kisses, his hair a rumpled, but shining mess. His dusky lids shielded Alex's eyes and his thick lashes. Leaning closer, I kissed each eyelid. My arms framed him, keeping him captive and safe. I don't know how he did it. He's a big man, but in my arms, he could seem fragile and make me feel as if I had to be careful least I break something I could not repair. 

Letting me look at him, fill myself with him; Alex lay still, his eyes finally meeting mine with that smoldering heat that made me feel as if I was the sexiest man that had ever walked the earth. I wondered about the past. Wondered who else was allowed to see and taste this pleasure. 

Wordlessly, Alex reached up to pull me down. With a shift of his hips, he turned to lie on his side, his leg lifted high to open for me. He must have prepared in the shower. He was already lubed and relaxed enough for me to push gently inside him. I gasped as I was engulfed. His left hand reached around to pull my hips closer. I love it when he does that. I love it when he tells me in these wordless ways that he needs me as I need him. 

I love more when the words rip from him because he can't keep silent another moment. 

"Move! Fuck me," Alex said, his voice rough, wild, and shaking with the intensity of his emotions. 

There is so much more to Alex than he ever let me see. He burns. He's my pearl, layers of mystery one atop the other. I'll never know the entire truth of him. I'll never understand him. How strange that the thing I found frustrating in the past was now my delight. 

My nose was nestled along his neck. I rubbed it against his hair, kissed his neck as I moved inside him, trying not to lose it after waiting so long for him to return. I savored the taste of his skin, nibbling on him gently. He arched toward me, purring as he did. His hand reached around to guide mine to his cock. The feel of him in my hand seems as familiar to me as myself. I think there is no accessible part of him that I have not kissed, caressed, tasted. 

When we first became lovers, we spent hours and days in bed, making love, only stopping for the necessities of life. 

I kept thinking that I would get over it. I would possess him and get him out of my system. Bullshit. Like a heroin addict, that first shot was the hook. He was my rush. I had him, but I wanted more. I wanted him all, but as much as he yielded, I knew there was more. 

His cock was hot, the skin throbbing, the veins, mapping his excitement. I smoothed his precum over his dick, my hand already slick with my sweat and his. 

"Fuck me," Alex said again. His voice was smoky with intensity. He sounded as if he was going to threaten me unless I gave him what we both wanted. He's a dangerous man, my Alex. I think that's what I love best about him. 

Moving together, we were always aware of who we held in our arms. We knew whose body gave us pleasure. It was good, so good. 

Alex reached to hold me close again and again. Our shuddering moans, our panting breaths filled the room. We cried out together. I held him close even after, held him until he turned to look at me, his eyes tender and soft. I smiled at him and whispered, "Welcome home." 

OooOooO 

Scully didn't arrive back with the morning. John sent over a message that Mamie was having a difficult time. I had a feeling this wasn't going to be the baby she wanted so much. My heart went out to her, but at the same time, I wished she would stop trying. There were a lot of orphans, a lot of kids needing a home. Like the tyke that was driving Alex and I crazy with his cries. 

I would have helped, but the little guy wanted Alex. He wanted no part of me, hitting my nose with his blotchy, reddened little fist. He had a mad-on at the world with the exception of my lover. I knew I'd be lucky to have a kiss tonight. Alex was tired and getting irritable. Whatever else his mission had involved; it hadn't involved sleep or taking care of himself. 

I didn't even try to make love to Alex. We lay together, his green eyes staring into the night, his thoughts not pleasant by his expression. It was a warm night and the window was open. There were dogs howling in the hills. 

Strays made their way here. They seemed to know they would be welcomed. Dogs made good guards and we used them as draft animals too. They herded the sheep and goats that supplied us with milk, cheese, and wool. Alex always had a soft spot for them. We would have had a dozen in our bed if I hadn't put my foot down about that. 

"You should take Turk and go bring those dogs in," Alex said. 

"You don't think they'll find their own way?" I replied, not looking forward to the task. 

"It sounds as if they are hurt," Alex said. He sat up, gleaming as the moon emerged from behind a cloud. He looked so magical. Damn, I wanted him as if I had never had him. 

With a groan, I rolled to the edge of the bed, sat up, and searched for my clothing. I didn't want to stay alone with a crying baby. 

Turk would be awake; he doesn't sleep much. Turk is a bit slow mentally, but he's big and quick physically, an awesome warrior. I think he's a hybrid. Alex showed up after a mission, with the giant following him like a big dog. Since Turk was mute, I never knew whether he knew Alex from before. Alex only said that Turk was part of our family now. 

His house was on the edge of the property. He has a pack of dogs, seven of them. I knocked on his door and all of them barked. Turk came warily to answer my knock. His broad face frowned. 

"There are dogs howling. Alex wants us to go see about them," I said. 

Blinking at me, Turk didn't show what he was thinking. I know he can sign and that he can hear very well, but he won't sign for me. He only talks to Alex. He looks out for me though. I think he considers me one of Alex's pets. 

Nodding, Turk went to get his weapons and some bait for the dogs. He left his own pack behind. You never know what the strays will do or if they are healthy. We keep them separate until we are sure that they aren't carrying anything. That's the human strays too. Most of the dogs ultimately worked out. Some of the people did. 

OooOooO 

The hills above Sanctuary were always wild. They were rocky and full of small caves. Tangles of dense bush mingled with various hardy weeds. The vines would trip you if you weren't careful. Or rather, they tripped me. 

Alex never seemed to have that problem. I can't tell you how many times I have looked up at his smirking face from a graceless tumble. 

I picked my way first up the hill and then down the slope, following the sound of the howling dogs. The dogs seemed to be staying in one place. I thought perhaps that one of them must be ill or possibly they had a litter to protect. There was a rocky incline. It wasn't safe to travel. The rocks slid frequently. It looked solid, but it wasn't. 

The dogs were down there. Turk braced me as I held onto a rope to shine my flashlight down. A dog snarled at me. It was a mastiff. It was a male and there was a female. However it wasn't a litter they were protecting. 

I saw a big man. The beam of my flashlight glinted off his almost hairless skull. When the light struck him, he stirred, struggling to sit up with the aid of the female dog. His thickly muscled arm surrounded the dog's equally stout neck. His face was dark with stubble. It looked as if he had been hacking his beard off with a knife. The face that had been pale with a bureaucrat's pallor was tan and gaunt. It was Walter Skinner. 

I almost lost my grip on the rope when my mind finally told me I wasn't crazy. 

"Well, look what the dogs dragged home," I said. 

"Mulder, you're still full of shit," Walter said. 

I missed that voice. I missed him more than I ever thought I would. But, 

God... 

What would Alex think? What would he feel? 

I scrambled down to fasten the rope around Walter. He had made a brace for his ankle. I was pretty sure that it was broken although he bore the pain stoically. 

As I secured him, I said, "Walter, Alex and I..." 

The look he gave me was unreadable. Walter said, "Don't you think I knew?" 

Actually, I assumed he didn't know. I thought we hid it pretty well. 

OooOooO 

"Help me up out of this and I can keep going," Walter offered. 

"Sure, there's a pack of coyotes out there that are raising a litter. They could use the meat," I said. 

"Sarge and Janaway would take care of them," Walter argued. 

"Alex will live with it," I said. I couldn't help it if I made that a question. 

"No problem from my end," Walter said. 

"Better not be," I said, making sure that Walter understood that Alex had moved up to number one in my book. 

OooOooO 

I don't know what I expected. When we walked in the door or rather after Turk and I half carried Walter in. 

"Gee, Mulder, and my birthday is still a week away," Alex said in that snarky tone that was sure to inspire someone to hit him. 

Bare of chest, a burp rag across his left shoulder, Alex looked delectable. My eyes went from him to Walter. I saw what I expected. The glint of appreciation faded the moment that Walter saw me noticing. 

"Mulder as much said you were sleeping together. He didn't tell me he knocked you up," Walter said, forcing the words deep from his chest. 

Alex's sharp glance made me wonder if I should grab the baby. Folding my arms, I drawled, "You know, Walter, he told me the kid was yours. I was just trying to do the honorable thing for you." 

The testosterone in the room was enough to make a capon crow. 

I thought we were bound to make a three-way brawl of it. Then there was a strange sound. A sort of machine gun rumble. It was followed by the rapid, chuckle of my lover, a sound I loved to hear. Alex tilted his head back and laughed until the baby cried. 

Walter's chest, which he had pumped up during the verbal conflict, deflated. He looked old and weary as he leaned on the table. 

"I'll show you to the bath," I said. 

"There's stew. I'll warm it up," Alex said. The two dogs had padded into the house and were sniffing with interest at the row of dog bowls. 

"These your dogs?" Alex asked. 

"They seem to have acquired me," Walter said. 

"I can feed them," Alex said. 

"Yeah, they're hungry. Nothing but skinny rabbits for a long time and they had to share with me," Walter said. 

When I showed Walter the guest bath, he stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. "What I had with Alex...it wasn't." His eyes shifted and he said, "It's been over a long time." 

"I'm not jealous," I said. I liked sex talk. I'd ramble through fantasies, most of which had Alex laughing instead of turned on. When I talked about having a threesome with Walter, Alex stopped laughing. It wasn't a joke to me either. I had always had a thing for my boss. 

"Mulder, don't bullshit me. I'm hurt, exhausted, and I stink. I buried people I care about, shoveled dirt over strangers, and finally walked past the bodies, trying not to smell them. I've eaten bad food, slept out on rocky soil, and pissed myself running from gray nymphs. I don't want trouble from Krycek," 

I gave Walter my best cock-eyed grin and said, "It's his birthday next week. I wondered what I was going to give him." 

Walking away, I could feel his eyes on my ass. I had him thinking. 

Alex had finished feeding the two emaciated mastiffs. He said, "I'm going go put these two in the stray's yard. Walter can reclaim them later after we quarantine them. Keep an eye on Junior." 

Since the kid was asleep finally, I didn't mind. I said, "We have to name the squirt." 

"Already did," Alex said. "Fox." 

"No way in hell," I snarled. "That's down right child abuse. I think we should name him, Martin. I like that name." 

"Marty?" Alex said. "I don't think so. Kid would grow up to be a phone sex perve and we might not even have phones by then." 

Snorting, I went to get a bowl of stew. Fetching Walter had worked up an appetite. 

OooOooO 

I heard Walter limping down the hallway long before his arrival. I set a bowl of stew, a glass of milk, and some bread in the chair nearest the hall. 

My old boss looked better. He had found a razor and was smooth shaven. His skin was pink as if he had scrubbed as hard as he could bear. I had forgotten to leave clean clothing and he had commandeered Alex's robe. No wonder Alex couldn't find it; he must have used the guest bath and forgotten it in there. 

"Couldn't stand the smell of my clothes," Walter said. "I left them soaking in the tub. This place is impressive. Private generator, good water pressure." 

"Alex bought this with money he took from Spender," I explained. 

"When we went on the road, we worked our way toward here. Alex thought it might get worse before it got better." 

"You couldn't have warned people?" Walter asked. 

"I got Scully, Doggett, and Reyes out. Tried to get Scully's family out, but the only one that would come was Maggie," I said. "Alex collected Kim Cook before I even thought about it. If you mean, warn everyone; well, I tried that. No one listened." 

"You should have kept trying," Walter said. "I slept with Alex, but I didn't buy into his beliefs." 

"I tried my damned best, Walter. I tried to make you believe, but you kept ignoring things that didn't fit with the way you saw the world," I said. 

His eyes dropped and Walter said, "That's true. I'm sorry, Mulder. I suppose I don't have room to talk. When I heard about a community that was thriving and heard about the two men who led it, I wondered if that was you. All this time...I had to have a goal to keep going. I had to have something to believe in and I told myself that I was going toward you." 

"Thank you for picking me, Walter," I said. For a moment, I was overwhelmed with my old frustration. I hated the mockery, hated knowing the hideous truth and being called insane for it. Not even Scully believed me most of the time. Back in the bad old days, the one reason I had not to hate Alex was that at least he believed. 

Oh God, how Alex believed and for even more reason than I had. 

Alex returned. "The dogs are fine. I gave them some vaccinations just in case and they will be comfortable in quarantine until we are sure they won't infect the other animals." 

"They're healthy," Walter growled. 

"It's what we do," Alex said. 

My lover set his jaw, his legs braced as if for a physical struggle. 

"All right," Walter said, "I didn't come here to buck your authority. Krycek, I'm here. I want to stay. Treat me with some respect and I'll return the favor. You won't regret taking me in." 

"I was thinking we could use someone to keep an eye on the administrative side of things," Alex admitted. "Mulder and I get a little carried away at times." 

It must have taken a lot for Alex to admit that. He was worse than I was, always needing to be the one who had the answer. The only thing that stopped us from killing each other was sublimation. We took our combat from the daily life of Sanctuary to our bed. I can speak highly of the side benefits of that. 

"Just the organizational stuff, making sure that we know what we need and making sure we have people in the jobs that make good use of them," Alex added. "You're good at that." 

You would have thought that Alex had just given Walter a way out of a lynching. I saw some of the old Skinner come back. 

Walter nodded and said, "I can do that for you." 

"But Mulder and I are in charge. We handle the defense side and any offensive moves against the remaining Grays," Alex said. His chin rose in challenge. 

There was a brief silence as Walter struggled with natural resentment. Finally, he drew a deep breath and, a moment later, said, "I suppose I know how to take orders as well as give them." 

Alex nodded. He met my eyes and said, "Mulder and I will respect what you have to say too. We don't have the time or energy to fight each other, Walter, so we have to leave the past behind us." 

"I agree," Walter said. 

The squirt woke wailing at that point and Alex went over to pick him up. I could see Walter watching Alex as he cared for the child. Maybe he thought Alex was biding his time to make the kid into a midnight snack. 

"Stew's good," Walter said. "Who cooks?" 

"Alex mostly," I said. "I'm learning. We have power, but no one's making TV dinners anymore. We do have a pizza place in town, however. They just don't deliver." 

"I heard about this place when I was in Virginia," Walter said. 

"Yeah, word goes around. We don't let everyone in," I said. "At first, I wanted to take everyone who asked into our community. Alex and I went round and round over it. I finally realized that we had finite resources. He was right. Alex is often right." 

I smiled as Alex glanced my way. "But not always," I added. 

"Well, apparently you both managed to survive your disagreements," Walter observed. He sounded surprised. 

"We work things out," I said, almost wincing at the doting tone in my voice. 

Walter frowned and went silent, turning his full attention to his food. 

OooOooO 

I woke up to Scully's voice. My hand reached for Alex before I opened my eyes. He wasn't where I wanted him, but he must have just got out of bed. His side was still warm. I couldn't hear the shower yet so I hurried for the bathroom. My bladder emptied, I moved the curtain inside to join my lover. Putting my arms around him, I savored the feel of his slick, wet skin as I nuzzled him. He leaned back into me, exposing his neck, inviting me to nibble at his exposed flesh. 

"Mmm, breakfast," I said, words muffled by his skin. 

Sliding against me, with more wriggling than necessary...not that I objected, Alex said, "Scully and Doggett are back." 

"I know, I heard her," I said. 

Soapy fingers traced my cheeks, Alex said, "You used to be shy about making love to me when she was in the house." 

"I made lots of mistakes. Loving you wasn't one of them," I said. 

His eyes fled from me. I brought them back to me, guiding his face toward mine with a gentle hand. He managed to turn, kissing my hand before he put his arms around me and leaned into me. At that moment, if time had froze, I could still have been happy to hold him for a hundred years. 

Still, our days were full. We had disputes to settle... 

Walter could take over that. People will squabble and when resources are constantly challenged, they will fight over the smallest possible perception of inequality. Alex sometimes managed to shut them up with his cold assassin's glare. Hell of it was, I had been pushed to the point that I was relieved when he did it. 

I enjoyed patrolling the borders of our enclave more than I enjoyed dealing with our own people. After all those dark, despairing years, it was good to fight an enemy I could see. Good to fight one I could kill and that would stay dead. Alex and I often went out together. Doggett yelled at us for it, saying that we were leaders and should have better sense. Fuck that. There was no one I trusted more than Alex. No one else he trusted. 

OooOooO 

My ankle ached steadily. Scully wanted to fuss over me, but I needed to sit back and observe. I didn't want a painkiller. I didn't need a clouded mind when I was getting my bearings here. 

Doggett had cooked a vat of scrambled eggs and a rack of toast. There were canned peaches. My mouth watered the moment I saw them. The last fruit I had eaten had been a few half rotten apples left on a tree struggling in a weed-over grown yard. 

Mulder and Krycek came into the dining room together. They glowed. They had that smug, I-Just-Invented-Sex look that newly weds sometimes have. Mulder's hand rested possessively on Alex's ass. 

"Thanks for taking care of the kid," Alex said, as Scully looked his way. 

"He needs a name," Scully said. 

"I want to name him, Fox, but Mulder won't have it," Alex complained. 

"Perhaps Mamie Hubert will name him," Scully said. "She asked me to tell you that she wants to adopt a baby." 

"She lose this last one?" Alex asked. 

"Lost him and I had to do an emergency hysterectomy to save her life," Dana said. "The fetus was very wrong. It was tearing her from the inside before it died." 

"Fuckers," Alex said bitterly. 

Taking the child, Alex rocked him for a while before giving him back. He said, "When she feels better, see how she feels about this little guy. He's going to need an operation or two. Can you fix him?" 

Scully said, "I haven't corrected a cleft palate, but I can study. He won't be strong and big enough for the first operation until he is a few months old." 

"I can't believe some fool abandoned him like that. Didn't they realize that it was a common, correctable defect?" Alex raged. 

"You know how it is; some communities are fanatic about purity," Scully said. "Infanticide is a way of life with them." 

"Stupid people," Alex said. 

"Agreed," Mulder chimed in. "Come on, Alex, you have to eat." 

The two of them settled at the table, sitting next to me. 

Mulder said, "Alex and I will bring you around and introduce you." 

"All right," I agreed. "As long as it doesn't call for too much walking." 

"We'll take care of you," Alex said. 

That made me shudder despite the calm and kindly tone. I caught Krycek's smirk and bit the inside of my cheek to keep from raging at him. He always knew how to pull my strings. 

OooOooO 

Getting in and out of the jeep took their hands on me. It should have meant nothing, but with all the charge between the two men, some of it was coming my way. I could remember Alex's hands anyway, strong young hands that tenderly coaxed waves of pleasure from my body. My mouth went dry. I wanted him. I had never stopped wanting him. And he was Mulder's. 

I kept thinking that there was something wrong with this picture. By the third stop, I knew what it was. These people liked Mulder and Krycek. They respected them...to the point of damn near worshipping them. 

0ooOooO 

The outlying houses were well-armed fortresses. Most of them were occupied by extended families, either by blood or by close friendships. I had vaguely thought of my stay at Mulder's residence as a temporary measure, but now I realized that I would be expected to stay with my surrogate family. That wasn't going to be easy. 

The heart of Sanctuary was a small town. It was located in the center of the territory. Despite all the heavily armed guard posts between it and the frontier, a defensible wall surrounded it. We paused outside of it, looking down from a small hill at the bustling town. 

Alex said, "I made sure there is an escape route. We cleaned up an old sewer system. If necessary, we can get the noncombatants out while the trained soldiers defend the walls." 

"I wouldn't think that there would be much chance of that," I said. 

"Anything that can go wrong, will," Alex said. 

I imagine he knew about that. I said, "How did you get your arm back, Alex?" 

"Mulder arranged it," Alex said. "I was too chicken shit to let the rebels fuck with me, but Mulder drugged me and had them grow me a new one." 

"He punched me for it," Mulder said and laughed. 

"I just didn't want you to think you wear the pants around here," Alex teased. "The Speedos... oh, God, yes, but not the pants." 

I remember those Speedos. They were worn to Mulder's shape. Anyone who had any doubts about Mulder having a lot of balls could observe the truth of that by using the swimming pool at the same time as he did. I knew I never tried it more than the one time. His long legs, lean torso, and round ass could have outed me faster than Spender's fat file on my behavior. 

"He made a good decision for you," I said. "Life is hard enough without any handicap." 

"I know," Alex said, "Mulder and I take care of each other." 

"About the house," I said, "Perhaps I can find a place in town?" 

"No," Alex said. "We want you there. We have to work as a team, Walter." 

There was a husky tone in his voice. I glanced at him and was caught by his eyes. 

Mulder said, "Walter, don't run from us. We have a lot of unfinished business. So much that should have happened. Alex and I talked about what would happen if we found you." 

It couldn't mean what I thought it did. I closed my eyes, thinking about being in bed with the two of them. It felt as if my body might spontaneously combusted. It must have been one of Mulder's X Files. 

"Don't bullshit me, Mulder," I said. 

"I wasn't," Mulder said. 

His eyes traveled up and down me as if I was meat on the hoof. I should have hated it, but I felt myself pulling my gut tighter, inflating my chest, and sitting straighter. His eyes danced over to meet his lover's and they both laughed. 

I felt a hand on my leg. I thought it was Mulder's but when I looked it was Alex's. 

"We could have what you wanted in the past," Alex said. "Back then, I wanted to stay. Walter, if I could have stayed without ruining your life and losing my own, I would have moved in with you and let you throw away your career. I would have done my damn best to make you happy. I realize that you won't believe that." 

"Don't put words in my mouth," I said. I put my hand over his and reached for Mulder's hand, bringing it to my lips. "I'm interested," I admitted. "Just give me some time to get used to the idea. I can't believe you want to share with me, either of you." 

"This is happily ever after," Mulder said, "Where we get what we want and don't have to worry about what people think. I was always interested, Walter. I just wasn't sure about you. I've got defective gaydar. I wait until people give me a hint." 

"A big hint," Alex said. "Unzipping his fly and sucking his cock generally is subtle enough." 

That made me laugh. God, that felt good. I couldn't remember the last time I had laughed. 

OooOooO 

We drove down the hill and went into the town. The county used to be named Grays Harbor, but that had been changed for obvious reasons. The town was still named Aberdeen though. It had been a logging town at one point. I saw many Native American looking people on the street. There must have been a reservation nearby. 

Mulder's uneven and slightly nasal voice said, "We have the theater running. No new films, but we run some classics. Did you know Alex cries at the end of Old Yellow?" 

"No," I said. 

Alex's cheeks turned pink. He said, "Everyone cries at the end of Old Yellow. I like dogs. Dogs don't judge you." 

"I like dogs too," I admitted. "I just never had time. I ran into those two big guys on the trail. They were howling by a truck. There was an old man in it. It looked as if his heart gave out. I buried the man, fed the dogs, and when I left, the dogs came with me. I was glad of the company." 

"I was surprised you came this way by yourself," Mulder said. 

"I didn't. When I left, my half brother, Jeff, was with me," I said. I let the words put up a barrier. It hurt too much to talk about. "He didn't make it. Grays got him." 

"I'm sorry," Mulder said. 

"Yeah," I said, "We all lost people." 

Krycek had a haunted look when I said that. I wondered whom he had lost. I never thought about him having family. 

"We better go meet with the city council," Mulder said. "They're expecting us." 

It was hardly the last time I faced a bunch of bureaucrats. This group was just a little more mixed than the usual. There were every race represented, young people and old, male and female. They didn't trust me. They were used to taking direction from Mulder and Krycek. 

Alex touched my arm and said, "This man was our boss. We both stand here with him. There are things that come naturally to Walter that Mulder and I don't have a lot of tolerance for. Walter Skinner is just what you all need." 

That surprised me. Alex sounded sincere. I never expected to be in charge of anything again. Certainly, I thought if either of the two thought I had skills to give, I thought it was Mulder. I could understand Alex wanting me in bed. I don't think he faked his reactions back when I took him to my bed...and to my car, and once, even in my private restroom at work. 

OooOooO 

The two left me in town to work out the details. They had other things to do, checking to make sure that the guard posts worked. They were concerned that I had slipped through. If one man could, a dozen men might. Or things worse than human. 

I didn't have a resume. Or a briefcase. And I was wearing jeans and a tee shirt instead of a suit. I had bucked the system when I was a new agent. I hated wearing suits back then. When the hell had this happened to me that I felt half naked without the trappings of my career? 

"I was an assistant director in the FBI," I said. "And a soldier in Vietnam. I supervised Mulder when he ran the X Files. I was Alex's supervisor for the brief time that he was there." 

Momentarily, I saw Alex the way he had been in the restroom of my office. His inexpensive suit pants were on the floor. I had draped his shirttails over his shoulders so they would be out of my way. His round butt had jutted toward me as he looked over his shoulder at me. I had taken him like that, both of us muffling the sounds of our lovemaking least Kim would hear. It was insane, but I had loved it. I had been myself in that moment, that old reckless self that I thought I had lost. 

"Mr. Skinner?" the chairwoman of the council said. 

"I was thinking about Krycek," I said, "He was very young then." 

"Alex is a great man as is Mulder," Judy said. She was a tough Indian woman in her fifties. Her dark eyes sparkled in her brown face. She seemed comfortable with dominating the conversation. I think she was the one to whom I must answer. 

"I'm not a great man, not someone who took up the fight when they did," I said softly. "But I can help you here. Mulder was never one for paperwork and administrative duties and I don't think Alex is either. They asked me to take this over for them. I'm not asking you for instant trust, just work with me." I lay my hands on the table and waited. 

The nods assured me that I hadn't lost my touch. I had them. I would work hard to make things better here. I felt a swell of gratitude toward Mulder and Krycek. I expected to be a dependent here. Instead, they had given me back my dignity. I knew I would be happier in charge of something. 

At that point, if they had wanted to fuck me in the town square, I might have let them. 

OooOooO 

The next two days passed in a whirlwind. The work was intoxicating. Mulder and Krycek had done what they could, but they weren't administrators. They had a few square pegs in round holes. When I studied the resources, I saw a pattern right away that suggested that the man in charge of the meager fuel resources was tapping into this treasure. Here and there, there was evidence of hoarding, a natural reaction, but not one that should be tolerated. I wouldn't try to fix all of this at once. 

When I showed the two men what I had found; Alex looked as if he wanted to kill Dale Johnson, the man in charge of the fuel. Mulder wanted to confront everyone I suspected right away. I had to calm them down and ask them to let me handle it. 

I slept alone. 

It wasn't that I wanted to put off what they had offered. It was confusing. I was sure they wanted me, but neither made a move exactly. They touched me and l touched back, but there wasn't the right signal that could make me feel it was right to ask for more. 

Meanwhile, Scully gave Sarge and Janaway a clean bill of health. I hadn't neglected them. I'd spent as much time with them as I could spare with the schedule I was working in the isolation pen. Now, they would get the run of the place, joining the countless dogs that moved about the grounds. 

As I sat outside the holding pen, grooming them and thinking about whether I might have misunderstood the signals from Mulder and Alex, Alex joined me on the bench. Janaway gave up competing with Sarge for my touch and shoved her massive head between Alex's legs. Lucky girl. 

"Hey, there," Alex said. "You big beautiful girl. I wondered where Walter was and here he is with you." 

"They were the only thing that kept me going after my brother died," I said. "Without them, there would have been only the hope that the rumors were true and there was a place where I could live like a man again, instead of like a hunted animal. That hope was stretching thin. When I looked back at my life, it seemed that there were more regrets than pleasant memories." 

"Yeah, there are those. I have them too," Alex said. "I'm not proud of what I did. I'm not going to try and tell you it was all about fighting the good fight either. Most of it was about saving my own skin. Part of it was because I was so angry with you." 

"Angry with me?" I asked. "Angry because I didn't protect you?" 

"I guess," Alex said. He buried his face into Janaway's neck, hiding his expression from me. 

I rubbed his neck, stroked his hair until Sarge shoved my hand back onto his head. 

"Looks like I have competition," Alex said. He had regained control if he had ever lost it. 

"I know I do," I said. "You and Mulder." 

"Both of us," Alex said. "We're different together. I'm a different lover with him. With you, I like to be cherished. I liked it when you treated me like glass, all macho and protective. You don't know how much I wanted to be the innocent young agent you thought I was, the inexperienced lover that had to be coaxed into passion. I loved it. I let myself live in that fantasy world until the day Spender tugged hard on my leash." 

"I didn't know," I said. "If I had known, I could have helped. He had his strings on me, but there were ways of fighting back, of compromising so he only had a lease on your soul without owning it." 

"I didn't even know that you knew about Spender," Alex said. "You had me fooled, my honest, strong, pure lover. I thought if you found out that he owned me that you would have been repulsed. When I found out that he had a line on you, I felt that I was the one who had been betrayed. Stupid, huh?" 

"We both were fools," I said. I slid my arm around him and held him close. "I don't regret it though, loving you." 

"I'm glad," Alex said, "No matter what I did to you later, I did love you. I do love you." 

"It's going to happen then?" I asked, feeling powerless. I had told myself when I saw Mulder and him that I wouldn't botch it up. I wouldn't try to get Alex back. 

"If it's about Mulder too," Alex said. "He's always had a thing for you and he had it in the back of his head that you felt the same." 

"Oh, I've dreamed about getting into his pants," I said. I laughed. 

"Although I have to admit I used to dream about taking down his trousers to swat his ass. That man deserved a good spanking." 

"Now, that, I would pay to see," Alex said. He stood up and gave me a hand to help me up. "Come on, the dogs can come inside. I have to take my turn with Jeff." 

That's what we called the baby. I think it was for my brother, Jeff, who had been killed by Grays as we made our way here. I hope he grows to be as sweet and strong as my brother had been. 

OooOooO 

Alex's face lit like a child as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. His face glowed. 

I knew it wasn't the cake although my Alex had a sweet tooth. It was the feeling of being loved, of being celebrated. I knew that feeling now. 

How strange that it took damn near the end of the world for the two of us to find the love and caring that we needed. I watched Scully's face as she gave Alex her present. Scully had been the difficult one. 

Despite the fact that she had finally given up on making the lover of her dreams out of me, I knew it had been difficult for her to see me with Alex. 

Difficult? Hell, it had been torturous. He was jealous of her, fearing that I would change my mind. She had been subtly nasty to him, reminding me of how sharp her tongue could be when she was irked. 

Alex had saved Scully's life. He had found her before he had even found me and shoved her at me as if Scully was a bribe to pay for my tolerance. Hell, I was more than ready to forgive him. I had done a lot of thinking since that last little charade. I finally understood why he kept showing back up in my life. We went from fighting to making love back to fighting. When we were carving Sanctuary out of an area that was only slightly safer than most of the former United States, Alex and I had been pushed together. I hadn't resumed my relationship with Scully. I told myself that I was too busy, but I think we both knew it was a lie. 

We hadn't been in Sanctuary long. We were still gathering in strays and supplies. Alex and I had gone out on a mission, hearing that that a family of survivalists had occupied a homestead a few miles from town. Rumor had it they had stockpiled medicine and ammunition. Unfortunately, they had not been prepared for the bees. They had died in the first days of the invasion. 

Grays had pinned down Alex and me in that farmhouse for most of two days. There were long stretches of time when there was nothing to do but talk. We weren't good at that. He was being snarky at me as we lay side by side on a mattress, waiting to see if the Grays would attack again. I wanted him to shut up. I might have punched him, but instead I kissed him. That was a hell of a lot more fun than hitting him. One thing led to another quickly. 

Afterwards, when Doggett led some of our people to pull our butts out of the fire, we said it was the danger, that it didn't mean anything. We kept saying we could stop any time. We never did. 

Finally, we slipped up and Scully knew. 

Her own relationship with Doggett seemed to have slipped her mind. She screamed at me about 'how could I do that!' We had a four-way fight that came very close to breaking up our community. 

Somehow we survived. 

The day Alex showed up with William, Scully disarmed. 

The relationship went from gratitude to genuine friendship. He treated her like a sister and they both conspired at times to protect me from myself. I fought it, but truthfully, I liked it. I liked being loved and protected. 

Alex did too. 

OooOooO 

Two years ago, Scully found out that Alex had never had a birthday party. She had that look in her eye. The first one was a surprise. She was lucky he didn't shoot us all when we jumped out and yelled, 'Happy Birthday'. I hadn't been sure he would like it, but he loved it. You should have seen Scully's face glow with misplaced maternal softness as she watched Alex wade into chocolate cake and presents. I stopped her short of having Doggett dress as a clown as he did for William's birthday. Both Alex and I had read "It" too many times. Every clown was Pennywise in our eyes. 

To make a long story short, we celebrated birthdays after that. I had birthday parties, of course. My mother always liked things to look right as if we were any other family, not a mess of secrets and arguments that lasted for days. I never had one that I enjoyed until my first one here. 

I wish Samantha could be here, not the grown up Samantha that she would really be, but the little wiseacre brat that I had loved. She should have been like William, the center of love and attention, allowed to play in a puddle and kiss dog faces. Alex, Scully, John, and William are a family, my family. 

As I watched Walter watching Alex, I was more determined than ever that Walter was going to be family too. The kind of family that Alex was. The other thing that I thought was that I was looking forward to topping Walter. From what I teased out of Alex, Walter had always been on top. He'd suck cock, but he never yielded that fine ass to Alex. I guess he never really thought it through that it went both ways. I like fucking Alex too, but he's damn fine pitching as well as catching. 

As soon as we had cleared the table, Scully and John packed up William and the baby that Alex had brought home. Scully stood on her toes to give me a kiss and did the same with Alex. Doggett just nodded. He wasn't the smooching type and I think he still looked the other way hard when he happened to walk in when I was kissing Alex. I imagine he was a little surprised to find out that his macho boss liked guys in bed. 

I could see Walter was thinking about being alone in the house with us. Well, if he was going to chicken out, he better run after Scully and John now. I meant to have what Alex and I had been talking about since Walter showed up. The one thing I've learned is if you have a chance to have something good, grab it. Grab it and enjoy it. You can't store up happiness for a rainy day, but the odd thing is the more you grab life and savor it, joy just comes tumbling into your life from everywhere. 

OooOooO 

Doggett and Scully had taken the baby over to the woman who had lost the infant. They would be out until tomorrow. That left just the three of us. I had a feeling that Mulder had encouraged Scully to do this earlier than she had planned. I was ready. I guessed, at least, that I wanted to be ready, but I was nervous. I hadn't been with a man since Alex. I tried once, but the young man I picked up looked too much like Alex yet when I kissed him, all I could think about was that he was not my lost lover. 

We had wine with dinner. Now we had a little more. We ended up on the big brown couch that sat in front of the fireplace. Of course, Sarge and Janaway thought it was playtime for them. They shoved huge drooling heads at us until I had enough and put them outside. 

Sorry, guys, but I have other ideas about the company I want in my bed. 

When I sat back down, Mulder and Alex framed me. Alex leaned into me. I reached out, touched his hair as if fearful that he would bite me. I saw his eyes glint with humor. He turned around, his hand braced on the couch between my legs as he lifted his face to me. 

I had dreamed about his lips, but still, I looked toward Mulder first. 

Mulder's eyes crinkled and he said, "Kiss him, Walter. And then kiss me." 

My hands framed Alex's face. Despite his apparent calm, I felt his pulse jumping beneath my thumb. His lips were soft, moist. His hand came up, pressing me closer. I was vaguely aware that his other hand was in Mulder's, creating a connection between the three of us. 

I remembered this. I remembered the taste of him. I remembered the way he made a low sound in the back of his throat. Before I could stop myself, my hand lifted his shirt, exploring the elegant line of his back. He moaned against my mouth, arched into my touch like an affectionate cat. 

Someone unfastened Alex's pants so my eager hand could push them down to explore the globes of his ass. I was half on top of Alex, thinking of nothing beyond getting his clothes off and caressing more of his skin. 

"Walter," Mulder's voice teased. "You're forgetting something." 

"What?" I asked, face heating even as I said it. I remembered this was a three way and I had not been able to think past having Alex again. The two of them firmly turned me toward Mulder. It was different to kiss him. For one thing, our noses kept bumping and our timing was off. When our lips finally connected, his mouth was sweet. He tasted of sunflowers. We sparred, a kind of oral combat. I kept wondering if I really liked kissing him until suddenly I was forcing him back, gripping his head strongly as my tongue penetrated his mouth. More and more clothing hit the floor. I felt Alex's hands tugging and lifted so he could remove my jeans. 

Pulling Mulder to his feet, I said, "Bed." 

"Yes," Mulder said. 

I couldn't keep my hands off them. We almost stumbled as we went to their bedroom. The bed took up most of the room. The dressers were in a separate area that led into the bath. Mulder hopped to remove the pants that dragged from his ankles. His ass jiggled enticingly as he hastily finished undressing. 

We hit the bed in a heap. The two of them were on me like a pair of puppies. I sprawled on my back as they pounced to smother me with kisses. One mouth and then the other ravaged me. Then they paused over my head, leaning across me to kiss each other so tenderly that my eyes filled with watching them. 

Like a sacrament, they solemnly broke apart. Alex kissed me again before working his way down my body, trailing kisses that electrified me with sensation. I would have yelled with pleasure when Alex's mouth found my cock, but Mulder's kiss took the sound. 

I remember thinking that I wanted inside Alex. I didn't think about anything having changed. 

I didn't quite understand it when Alex lifted my legs up to penetrate my ass with his tongue. It felt good. I'd only had that done once or twice and that by whores. Alex was better by far. 

Groaning, I arched up to the invading tongue and then to the finger that followed. Mulder grinned at me and said, "Walter, it's Alex's birthday. I think you could give him something sweet, something you've probably never given anyone." 

It took me a moment. Then I was frightened. I should have been ashamed. As many times as Alex had let me inside him, I had never even thought of him doing that to me. He would tease me with a finger sometimes, but I had ignored other possibilities, thinking it was foreplay. 

"Only if you want to," Alex said, stopping what he was doing. 

My legs shaking, all I wanted was that tongue back where it had been. I thought about it and drew a deep breath. "I want it," I said. "But I'm nervous. I've never done it." 

"Then it will be quite a birthday gift," Alex said. 

Lying back, I said, "Yes, Alex, yes." 

The tongue moved in me. I felt my body tighten. I was afraid that it would hurt too much or that I would lose control and humiliate myself. I wish they had prepared me like they did in the gay porn movies I rented...in Mulder's name, as a matter of fact. I would have felt more confident if they had given me an enema and, possibly, if they had made me walk around with a dildo up my ass for a few hours. 

I must have been kinkier than I thought. The mental image of being prepared like that made me harder than ever. I relaxed enough for Alex to fuck me with two fingers. I was getting used to the idea. 

I was just about sure I could do it when the two of them positioned me, pillows raising me, my legs over Alex's back. 

Mulder stopped kissing me and his eager, exploring mouth went lower. He sucked my nipples then moved down, grumbling about hair getting in his teeth. Between his mouth on my cock and the sight of Alex's face, eyes screwed shut in concentration, a look of intense concentration on his face as he penetrated me with slow, gentle thrusts, I stayed hard. 

I couldn't imagine that it was that good for Alex, being so careful. I wanted to tell him to just move, take me the way I took him. Good sense kept my mouth shut. 

It was different than fingers, bigger and wonderfully strange. I ached a little even with all of his care, but there was pleasure in the pain. It wasn't only that Alex's cock was rubbing on my prostate. It was giving this to him; it was doing something that I had been taught was wrong. It was having him inside me. I almost didn't need Mulder's encouraging sucking to reach nearer and nearer completion. 

I rocked with Alex's movements. His eyes opened and he looked at me with all of his love in his eyes. I was so proud of myself. I was doing it. I was giving myself entirely to him. I had never yielded this much control to anyone and Alex was proving that I could trust him. 

As Alex moved faster, I felt something strange, like my entire body was as full and hot as my cock. Oh, damn, that was why Alex liked it. This was wonderful. I didn't want it to stop. I was moaning and almost sobbing as our connected bodies moved faster. Almost at the same time, I came and then a moment later, Alex cried out as his cock jerked inside my ass. My now limp cock slid from Mulder's mouth. I was too tired to do anything more than flop back. 

My ass twitched as my hole contracted back to its normal size. Alex got up to get something to clean me up. 

I hadn't been aware of what Mulder had been doing other than his mouth on my cock. He was still hard and he moved Alex into place, taking him from behind. I moved my hand to stroke Alex's hair and face as I watched them make love. I wondered if my face had looked like that, happy and bemused as Alex fucked me. Alex couldn't come again this soon, but he seemed to be taking something from this anyway. Mulder didn't take long to come. He arched into Alex, holding him tightly. 

Finished, they lay connected for long moments before Mulder slid out. Alex said, "Now that's a birthday wish." 

"Yes, love, and you deserve to have every wish come true," Mulder said. 

Alex crawled up beside me after they cleaned up a little. Mulder moved around to use him as a living body pillow. Mulder looked relaxed, as content as a cat stretched in front of a fire. 

"I'm still going to have you, Mulder." I promised. 

"The same here," Mulder said. 

"Tomorrow night," I promised. On second thought, "Or in the morning." 

"Morning," Mulder agreed. "You first because I can last long enough to make it good for you the other way." 

I wanted to argue with him, but he was right. I reached past Alex to swat Mulder's ass. "I always wanted that." 

"In a sling?" Mulder teased. 

"Yeah," I said, "Rig one up." 

Exhausted, I snuggled closer to Alex. Mulder's hand and mine met. I grabbed Mulder's hand and we held Alex between us. 

I was almost asleep when the noise seeped into my brain. The dogs were barking, a chorus of them. 

Alex's drowsy voice said, "Walter, the dogs are barking." 

"I know," I said. 

"They want in," Alex said. 

"I know," I said. The biggest voices out there were my own dogs, the booming resonance of mastiff chests amplifying the sound to incredible levels. 

With a groan, I got out of bed and grabbed on a robe. I let in the dogs, eight of them, not counting my own two. They yapped happily before finding their favorite places to sleep. 

Ah, well, the bed was still warm. I resumed my place, kissed Alex goodnight again, leaned over him to kiss Mulder also. 

You have to wonder...if it was Alex's birthday, why I was the one to get such gift? 

On reflection, it didn't matter. There's nothing sweeter than a second chance at life. I would be making the most of this one. 

I had all that I needed right here. 

The End   
  

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